Jealousy is a feeling that we don't have the hold of. I personally believe that I get really jealous is certain cases. (Maybe instead of 'really', 'too' would fit in better.) I'd be jealous everybody, even a stranger has the power of making me jealous. But what people don't understand is I don't like to show it too much. That's just who I am, I know it's not the best. I also don't show my anger and sadness to the world but that's a whole another topic.
I'm currently in the situation where I feel like I'm slowly losing my best friend to another close friend. And that feeling just sucks the blood out of my heart leaving me looking at the ceiling with no emotion what so ever. Maybe it's just me, me over-thinking and my brain pointing out her behaviors against me but this situation just bothers me so much. Maybe she's reading this right now, not believing that this is how I really feel because I don't show it, or maybe she's noticed something different about me during the last few days that we hung out. Either way, nothing has changed about her.
She's been canceling our plans and not returning my calls. What I'm probably gonna do is back off of her a little bit hoping that this'll make her understand what really is going on inside of me.
I think jealousy has my control right now. Can't think of a way to take the wheel back in my hands but I guess waiting is the name of the road that I'm driving on.
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